Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Real Life Risk

Real Life Risk!

Off the coast of Dubai, capital of the United Arab Emirates, a company called Nakeel is constructing “The World” a group of 300 islands modeled after the continents of the globe. These islands are to be sold off individually for several million dollars each. The Kuwaitis have already bought Australia, but Israel and Palestine aren’t for sale cause they don’t exist, you know, for uh… design purposes… and design purposes only!

All of which I think is a total waste. A waste for one of the greatest opportunities in history… to stage a giant version of the board game RISK! Imagine a reality game show where 2-6 contestants, ages 10 and up, control an ever increasing amount of swimsuit clad armies who travel from island to island competing in tests of physical aptitude, gastrointestinal fortitude, and an utter lack of personality or sense of shame. It would be AWESOME! But nooo, they have to sell them to hoteliers and investors and not evil geniuses like myself. Where the hell else are we supposed to build our secret lairs huh? In a volcano? Um, I don’t THINK so!

Anyway, my beautiful dream ended before it ever got a chance to reach fruition, all because of those crafty Kuwaitis. Everyone knows that Australia is the key to victory. You hold on to that baby and you can just sweep the map. I mean, it’s a whole additional 2 men per turn!

Our only hope now lies with the Ukraine. The Ukraine is not weak! The Ukraine is STRONG!



Blogger Mooch Rex said...

Lay off the crack.



7:18 PM  
Blogger Kanokadafi said...

That looks like alphabet soup, I believe it reads KANO RULES!

7:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought you just had one too many hine's when i read this, but now that i think of it, those guys who built this thing are truly on crack!

9:29 PM  
Blogger Brad Millette said...

I call dibs on Papua New Guinea.

1:55 PM  
Blogger MCB said...

Alright I’ve scaled back my crack intake by like almost half.

What I really love is their rendition of Antarctica! The most misunderstood continent gets the short shrift yet again.

But then again, I guess without all the ice that’s probably what it would really look like. We’ll know in like 2 decades when all the polar ice melts and we’re fighting pirates on jet skis like in Waterworld.

Which will kind of defeat the purpose anyway because then all the Antarctic landmass will be underwater. Aw hell, just brush up on your swimming skills people!


10:19 PM  

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